Wednesday, November 10, 2021

The Kindness of Strangers

Nearly 14 years ago, when I began this blog, I wrote a post (actually the 2nd post I ever did) about trying to find a copy of a book for a friend.  That book, Crawling, by Elisha Cooper, was a memoir of his first year parenting his first-born daughter.  I had read it shortly after I became a stay-at-home dad and found it compelling, and wonderful - a touchstone for me as I wrestled with my anxieties and joys along the way.

In 2016 Mr. Cooper published another memoir, Falling, chronicling his experience when his oldest daughter was diagnosed with cancer at age 7.  Never maudlin, that book laid bare his emotions and helplessness in the face of every parent's worst fear.  It's an extraordinary slice of one family's life. At the time I read it we had been coping with our own medical terrors (though nothing as life-threatening as theirs) and that added even more fuel to my sense of kinship with Mr. Cooper.

Elisha Cooper is normally a celebrated children's author who also does wonderful illustrations.  He is a Caldecott honoree, and his most recent book, River, was on the New York Times' list of the year's best children's books in 2019.  

I'm a collector of children's books.  Having done a lot of reading to my kids over the years I developed a small stable of favorites: Kevin Henkes, Kate DiCamillo, and Eleanor Lattimore (a distant relative). Mr. Cooper is included as well.  His lovely books hold a place of honor on our bookshelves, even if now my kids have long passed the age for them.

Last spring I reread my copy of Crawling.  It was still wonderful, though it carried a whiff of nostalgia for me as it conjured up memories of my first years raising my kids.  Those years feel both distant and very immediate now, and I was so grateful for the breadcrumbs to those memories that Crawling provided.  I was so grateful in fact, that I did something I have never done before:  I wrote Mr. Cooper a fan letter, thanking him for his books and sharing what they had meant to me and to my family.  I had no address for him, but was able to locate his FB page and sent it via message.  I hadn't really expected a response - had only written because I wanted to say thank you.

I sent the message in July, and to be honest, had forgotten about it completely.  Then, last Thursday evening, we returned home from a play that the Boy and the Girl were in and to my surprise there was a message from Mr. Cooper.

In it he apologized profusely for the delay - he rarely gets on FB and had not seen it until that day.  He said he was touched by my appreciation of his work and our family's love of his books. He told me his oldest daughter (who is cancer-free now) had started college this year - he had spoken to her just that day.  He added a request for my mailing address to send us a book to apologize for his lack of response, even if unintentional, and wished us his best.

I wrote back to tell him that even though a book would be highly prized in our home, it was entirely unnecessary - I had written him originally only to offer my gratitude for his works.

Yesterday a package arrived in the mail.  It contained two books: Yes & No, and Big Cat, Little Cat, each with lovely inscriptions and doodles.



We are awed by his kind act.  

Thank you, Elisha.