Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Root Of The Problem

Our house is moving. It's headed west. With us in it. Our neighbor's Ash tree has invaded our space and the roots are moving our home. Two weeks ago the neighbor's insurance company hired an arborist to trench the east side of our home to see if what we all knew was true. The trench proved it. The mass of roots is substantial and is pushing our home. There is a lot of damage (big - really big - money).

So two weeks go by and not one word. Today I call that insurance company and and speak to the world's greatest Insurance Company Douchenozzle. He told me that they have the arborist's report and that they have decided that they have no legal responsibility for the damage. They aren't paying. In his words: "Your sprinklers invited the roots to your property." Really, he said that.

Two weeks ago he had also told the arborist not to fill in the trench until they told him to because they didn't want to pay him to dig it twice. It has been there ever since. So last night it poured rain. A pile of dirt from the trench was blocking a downspout. The water had nowhere to go, which led to a flooding of my garage. When I told Mr. Insurance Douchnozzle this he said the arborist has insurance that would pay for that and I should speak to the arborist.

Needless to say the arborist wasn't pleased with that remark. The arborist also told me that as he was preparing the report, the Insurance Douchnozzle let it slip that they were looking for any way to weasle out of the responsibility. Oh and the whole "sprinkler invite" thing? The arborist told me that even though that was the funniest thing he'd heard in a long time, it was bullshit all the same.

When I said gooodbye today to the Insurance Douchnozzle I told him he was the exact reason why they invented attorneys.

Sadly this is gonna get ugly and time-consuming. We like our neighbors. Their insurance company though...

Oh and while discussing the trench with Insurance Douchnozzle, I queried him about when he intended to let the arborist know that it could now be filled. He told me I should call the arborist myself about getting it done - they weren't paying to have it filled. Seriously, this is what the man said. When I countered that it was his hole - he wanted it dug, he told me that it was dug with my permission on my property so that means it's mine.

Do they have a special school for these guys?


Baywatch said...

renews my faith in the inhuman face of bureacracy.

this is going to get LITIGIOUS.

that word rolls right off the tongue.

Blaize said...

They must have a special schools for these guys. Required classes include: 101A Passing the Buck; 102 Arrogant Flippantry; Special Course in Complete Nonsense and Aggravating Sentence Structure; Advanced Studies in Not Telling the Left Hand What the Right Hand Is Doing.

Clearly, the entirety of the banking system is filled with graduates.