Smarter Than Your Average...

A tech who works with my wife recently married a Deputy Sheriff. Two nights ago he was late picking up his new tech bride. Seems he got a call to investigate the theft of irrigation pipe from a nearby farm. When he arrived the potential perps were loading pipe into the back of a pickup. He asked them what they were doing. They said the were loading pipe. He corrected them, "You mean stealing?" "No," they responded, "The sign over there says, 'Free Pipe.'" Sure enough there was a sign by the side of the road announcing exactly that. Sheriff's Deputy checked with farmer and was assured that the pipe was not "free", that if he didn't want it he would sell it.

Impasse.

Until another farmer drives by and checks on the commotion. Sheriff's Deputy queries 2nd farmer about the situation. 2nd farmer says that yeah, when he saw the sign driving by earlier he thought it was odd that anyone would give away something that valuable. "Anything else odd?" asked the Deputy. "Well, yeah," drawls the second farmer, "It's kind of odd that those guys loading the pipe are the same ones I saw putting up the sign."

Deputy turns to the pipe loaders, "You have the right to remain silent."
Loaders exclaim as one, "Oh man!"

That's the crime report.

Except for the mattress store that was robbed at knifepoint of all its cash yesterday. How much cash business does a mattress store do on a Wednesday afternoon, anyway?

The criminal mind - it's a little slow.