Jurist Imprudence

From the time I first registered to vote one of the things I most looked forward to, other than voting, was jury duty. Forget the boredom, the crap, the inconvenience. I liked the idea of participating. My ego allowed me the luxury of imagining myself utterly fair and impartial; the perfect juror. Over the span of close to three decades I waited for that call to service; the opportunity to judge my neighbor. It never came and I was left wondering how friggin random the process really was.

Then last year the mail brought the letter. I was to be at the courthouse at a specific hour on a specific day. I should have rejoiced; instead I bitched. I was raising a little boy not quite two and I did not intend, let alone have the ability, to unload that burden. My wife took that day off so that I could tell it to da judge. Called into the box for voir dire I told the man in the robe of my predicament, answered a few questions and was sent packing. Why couldn't they have called me when I was free and single and loved the idea of blowing off work for a couple of days?

A couple of weeks back my wife spent the day doing the same thing. She escaped what promised to be a two week trial through the breastfeeding loophole and a prepaid vacation to Disneyland. Bye, bye.

Saturday brought another notice for me. I am to appear on May 19 in the same courthouse. I now have two toddlers to oversee. I will have to beg the court's indulgence. I shall peer for no one, again. I have this feeling that once my children are finally in school, my days relatively free for such citizenry, I will never hear from the justice system again.

If I were on trial I would not want the people determining my fate to be chosen from a shallow pool of retirees, slackers and bitter victims who couldn't nail down a decent excuse. I don't have a solution for this, but isn't there a better way?