Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Octagon

Many years ago, in a drunken, teen, moment of weakness, my pals and I traipsed off to the local multiplex one Friday night to take in a Chuck Norris movie, The Octagon. We laughed our way through it, at first annoying and then entertaining our fellow patrons with our comments. It was a film of such stupidity, and its martial arts, death match, plot so weak, that no one in the theater could take it seriously.

Here we are nearly three decades later and The Octagon has made a return. CBS, the former tiffany network (though that designation gasped its last with the premiere of Two and a Half Men) is airing a mixed martial arts fight this Saturday night. It's billed as a championship of sorts. Two men will duke it out and bloody one another until one succumbs or is knocked unconscious - hey, at least it isn't to the death.

This whole UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) thing has slipped under my radar, apparently. I have seen the various incarnations advertised on pay-per-view and Spike, but always assumed it was a niche. In our day and age, when boxing's fanbase is waning due to an increasing sense of the sport's brutality, I could not imagine a more brutal "sport" making such a splash. It seems wrestling fans, tired of the staged fights and fake blood, are demanding the real deal. So, we have The Octagon. Genuine pummelling, real blood, the last full measure of pain; that's what the public is clamoring for.

So set your Tivo, plan your party. Bread and Circuses are for everyone and The Octagon isn't so damned funny anymore.


Steve said...

The Octagon was the subject of a Chuck Norris joke of mine that was rejected by the men what were perpetuating all sorts of Chuck Norris jokes a few years ago during the 15 minutes that Chuck Norris jokes were funny. Anyway, while I forget the exact specifics I recall that it involved the Rhombus and the Trapezoid and perhaps even the fabled Dodecahedron, and how Chuck Norris went on to conquer them as well after his triumph with the Octagon because, well, that would be the Chuck Norris thing to do.

Anyway, thanks for reading. A man gets lonely waiting for the painter to show up.

Curry Favor said...

This all very popular with gay men. I shit you not.

Tommy, do you like gladiator movies?