Resistance Was Futile

It has been a struggle. The Boy has never had an issue with a dirty diaper. As an infant he never complained when it was time to be changed. We had to check him regularly because he would give us no sign that anything was amiss. He was content to sit in his own waste. The diapers changed, but he didn't. That detail didn't bode well for potty-training. He showed no interest in moving on from the status quo.

Various methods were utilized. The potty was purchased early on to familiarize him with its presence and function. He thought it was neat - as a storage device. There was the exposure to mommy and daddy using the potty: Ho hum. There was the book, Everyone Poops: great for reading - nothing gleaned. There was the Elmo Potty Video ("brought to you by the letter P and the number 2"): fun to watch, but it didn't sink in. There were the all-day potty sessions: "NOOOOO!" There were the long heart-to-hearts: "Are you afraid of the potty?" "No I like the potty. I just don't want to." There were the incentives: "If you use the potty we can go out for ice cream, little man." "Hmmmm. How bout we go out for ice cream first?" There was the logic: "You're not really a big boy till you use the potty. Babies wear diapers." "Well, babies don't talk. I talk. Sooo, I a big boy." There was the peer pressure: "Ellie uses the potty. Sam uses the potty. So does Christopher, and Caton, and Bennett, ad infinitum." "Uh huh." My wife even introduced the yogic mantra, "Ohmmmm, let the pee out." All failed.

We turned to the big threat. His desire to go to school is substantial. When he got accepted to a pre-school for the fall (yes, even in a small town pre-school is a series of interviews and waiting lists; especially if it's the only secular one) it came with a caveat: he had to be potty-trained. "You can't go to school unless you use the potty." "But I want to go to school." "Then you have to use the potty." Two hours of sitting on the potty later he would pee and announce his readiness for higher education. When informed that he had to use the potty exclusively he felt conned.

We put the potty outside, stripped him down and allowed him to roam the yard. When the call came he was expected to slip over to the chair and take care of business. Instead he slipped over to a corner and peed on his shoes.

In between these techniques we would give it a break; a chance to regroup for both sides. After a week or two we would return to the battlefield, but the stalemate continued like the Fields of Flanders. He viewed most of his potty time as nothing more than a wince-inducing opportunity to exercise a little penile contortion; "Hey! Look at this." What we had is referred to as potty-training resistance. At his age he is more than ready and something was going to have to give.

It was time to go to the next level. Goodbye carrot, hello stick. Over the weekend we informed him that privileges were now being rescinded. He would not be allowed to watch Sesame Street, or Little Bear, or Word World, or Caillou until there was a cargo drop. He would not be allowed to go to the gym with mommy (he loves the daycare while she works out), or swimming lessons, or the Movie Nights of popcorn and Pixar delight, or of course, school, until he was using the potty all the time. This new system was explained and completely understood (well, almost). He was not pleased, but he had no vote; only the option of changing course.

The new bylaws prompted Saturday's renewed interest; a desire to do what was expected. He peed with abandon, requesting potty time on a regular basis. Sunday saw the same. Yesterday, he was even more enthusiastic. He would go within seconds of sitting down. His diaper remained dry. Last night, as I fed his sister, he raced into the kitchen naked from the waist down and announced he had just peed. He had stripped his pants and diaper off, gone to the potty and done his job. It was a rather impressive act. This morning, his overnight diaper was bone dry and his first order of business was relieving himself. Score one for the stick.

There is still the matter of solid waste. He has yet to drop. Strangely, with boys, it is usually urine that causes problems, but not so with him. Today is all about the BM. If we can get over that hump we have hopes it will continue on course (backsliding is to be expected) and my life changing diapers, for at least one of them, will be over.

It's sad for an adult to see so much of their time wrapped up in such a mundane effort and so much happiness derived from its success, but that is my life; a cheer once reserved for sporting events, now expressed to announce a turd in a bowl. Yee haw.