Friday, May 30, 2008

Unsolicited Advice

My wife took the kids to the gym this morning. They look forward to these mornings. The daycare there is an opportunity to socialize and the Boy and Girl enjoy the staff very much. This morning my wife got called down from her workout because the Boy had an accident. He pooed his pants and felt pretty bad about it, but accidents happen. It had made quite a mess and he had to be hauled off to the bathroom for a thorough cleaning and a substantial calming. His pants were unusable afterward.

Since this had never happened before, my wife, who is generally overprepared, had no spare pair of pants in the diaper bag. So the Boy had to exit the gym wearing only a shirt, shoes, and a clean pair of training pants - his big boy underwear. The whole thing, from the accident to the lack of pants, caused him great embarassment and consternation.

As they were leaving an elderly man standing by the door noticed them. He began to say to himself, but pointedly loud enough for her to hear, "It's too cold for a kid to have no pants. What kind of a mother would let her kid run around with no pants? He's wearing nothing but a diaper. He should have pants on." He just went on and on with his disapproval.

My wife, having just experienced the joy of cleaning shit from her son and feeling her own self-imposed guilt for not packing a spare pair of pants, came undone. "Hey, asshole," she yelled, "He doesn't have pants on because he shit himself and the pants are covered with it. He can't wear them now, so live with it." My wife is quite calm and not prone to angry outbursts of cursing - especially not in front of the children and certainly not at total strangers - so it goes without saying that this fellow got under her skin and really upset her. Not to mention the additional shame he saddled upon my son.

What is it with these folks who assume they are blessed with the right to comment on the presumed parenting failures of people they have never met? How much cowardice must he possess to make his comments, not to her, but about her, and within earshot? Who was this ass?

"Oh your baby must be cold without a hat."
"You need to feed that child."
"That boy could do with a haircut."

I'm a little tired of all of it. If I need your advice I will seek it out, otherwise assume I have it under control.

It's a good thing it was my wife and not me this morning. It would have been much worse: "If you're so worried about it, give him your fucking pants or shut the fuck up."


Anonymous said...

I am feeling that the wife's actions were not without a large degree of justification. I am also glad that she has not studied any of the martial arts.

your pal,

margaritagirl said...

Be glad it was your wife instead of your Mother. She would have killed the ignorant son of a bitch.

Steve said...

Dude, I said I was sorry for sassing your wife and child!

Seriously, though, old boy's pants almost certainly would've been too big for your son.