Sunday, June 8, 2008

Bad Writing

I chanced upon some literary masterpieces today.
They made my morning.
I feel like sharing.

From the 25 funniest analogies (Collected By High School English Teachers).

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

The politician was gone, but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.


Anonymous said...

The first shot cut him in half; the second one turned him into a crowd.


Compared to her, any other woman is like the second pressing of the grape!

arlopop said...

actually, scooter, the "the first shot..." is one of my faves

From the original Dragnet movie with Jack Webb referring to a mob hit using two blasts from a shotgun.